A Summary of 2012

Its always been important to me that after a large project finishes or a milestone or significant period of time has passed, I take some time to go inside my head. I do this for the purpose of a big mental spring-cleaning while reflecting on everything that has happened, good or bad, how I've grown or regressed and where I plan to take things from there.

Now that my third semester of Ecosystem Management at Fleming is finished, all that stands in front of me is another three months and then...I don't know. The thought is both giggle inducingly exciting or numb-assingly intimidating. At least I can say that there are a few possibilities I would like to explore, it's just making a first decision and hoping it's the right one that's the hard part. Work, more school, adventuring? What will things be like down the road? Hard times? Good times? Love? Loneliness? Madness?
Focusing in the present is a necessity for the survival of a brain like mine.

When I do my periodic maintenance shut down, I get quiet. I say little and I stare into space alot. Solitary walks and trips to the coffee shop to sit and nurse a green tea become more appealing.

This year summed up has been one of polarity. There was a lot of happiness and fun and love, but also stress, depression and the grief and self-esteem blows that comes when someone you love tells you that you're no longer their favourite hat, or that they're just not ready to wear the captain's cap, but you're still a fine and beautiful sea-faring vessel.

I got the idea at the beginning of 2012 from a good blog Rowdy Kittens to pick a word to be the theme of your year. I chose to make it Connection. I realized that I really needed to work on connecting to the world around me and focus on it and less on my petty troubles and thought processes. I wanted to connect on a deeper level with people, family and friends, make new ones and maintain the old ones. I hoped to connect with the natural world, the community, and the strengths I have in my own self.

This year I was going to make the word Engage. Engage with the people and the world around me. Take action, stop planning and actually do things.
But after talking to some insightful friends and noticing the challenges that seem to be cropping up in the last while, I realized that the real word to focus on is Balance.
Balance in work and play,
Socializing and studying.
Balance between eating too much and eating too little.
Balance between time resting and time moving.
And so many other things. Life lived well is a life that is able to equalize in the face of change. To recognize excesses and deficiencies within and externally and make adjustments to make things better.
So.
Much work to do in this year of 2013

And third semester zooms by. Wave to it as it passes

How is it that even though this semester is the same number of days as the semester  this time last year, it feels about half as long. Does this sudden time speed-up sensation come with familiarity or routine I wonder? I feel like a broken record saying it so many times but I really think time is moving faster or I haven't been paying enough attention.
The latter is probably correct, the last 6 months have been sort of a distracted hazy blob. I have had so much fun so far, meeting awesome new people and playing Quidditch on a team. My room-mates have been nothing short of heart-gladdening and while they are slightly bad influences in the eating healthy, sleeping at a reasonable hour and being studious department, I am lucky to be able to share a home with them.

Another small happy- Love to some 5 toed footwear

I love wearing my Vibrams, they are the most comfortable things I have ever put on my feet.

Being able to run and walk for hours is worth the weird stares I get on the bus.

Even  though, they can get really really stinky after wearing them for a long time, I will pick them first over all my other shoes (All 3 of them).

The other day, I was out with my Dad running (in his case walking) on the conservation area trail near our house. When I looked down, I got a surprise.

That little lower caught between my toes just really lit up my day. Felt guilty for killing it though.

It's important to find joy in the small things and the mundane things. You can find art in house cleaning and walking down a road. Happiness can be found in so many little crevices. It's exciting to be slowly uncovering how to find them. Full steam ahead!

Joy is within grasp!

Was this post sappy? I think it was. Not sure where I was going with this one. It's hard not to jump in and want to inspire others when I read so many inspiring blogs by people who are changing lives and finding happiness.

I don't really have any wisdom of my own yet.

Little Happys

The title isn't grammatically correct.
I was thinking about all the small things that make me happy, that brighten moments despite their mundaneness.

Here's a list

1. Sitting with a good cup of tea.
2. Almond butter on a banana ( Seriously the most delicious thing ever)
3. Walking and reading at the same time
4. Opening an Avocado to find it is perfect inside
5. A postcard in the mail (Haven't experienced this one in a very long time)

August Aspirations and Bat rescues

My aim for this month is to focus on Self care, and working through my troubles with stress.
Anyone who knows me at all will know that I stress pretty easily and can be incredibly hard on myself in terms of my intelligence and abilities. I set impossibly high standards for myself and then feel bummed when things don't turn out.

This month I will be focusing on
1. Walking and being active every day
2. Limiting my internet usage to 2 hrs a day (yeah right)
3. Get into a semi-regular yoga practice at home with a great book
4. Journal every day even if it is only a sentence or in point form.
5. Work harder to keep in touch with friends through letter writing and postcards
6. Curb my spending to only essential needs and be more frugal
7. Practice mindfulness in daily life and eating
8. Put time towards being creative (This I fell bad about not doing enough)
9. Get better quality sleep

So lots of things to keep me occupied. If I don't manage to live up to all these goals, I'm not going to beat myself up about it. I'm human, as long as I know I made my best effort that's all I can do.


At the Visitor's Centre at work today, I found myself being the only one working from 10-12. It was a rainy day and therefore sure to be hella busy in the VC. Everything was going fairly smoothly and as it usually does, with people asking if they could register for camping (not here) and a lady looking for the London Science Centre she'd seen on the internet (the print out was for a museum in England *facepalm*).
But then a lady approached me and asked if we kept bats in the gated area in front of the windows where we hope to keep our Painted Turtle. No...?
I went over and stepped into the enclosure and sure enough, splayed out on a rock and soaking wet, was what I had at first thought, was a fake bat. But then its head moved. Nope. It's an alive bat.
Frantically I called up my boss who I'm certain had been sleeping at the time.
On his instructions, I managed to get the bad into a butterfly net with a phonebook on top and placed the screeching little creature outside where my boss would latter stick him up into a bat box.
So it's now Kailey Trevithick,
Soggy bat rescuer Extraordinaire!
And then the day progressed as usual with conversation fodder for the next little while haHA!

One more day till my 4 day weekend!
Hoping to have Shannon up to visit. Days filled with hiking and the Beach and canoeing.Can't wait!

Changes and working through a rut

It's been a couple months since I've touched this thing. I had started this with a lot of enthusiasm, with many plans and notes made on what I would write about. I had planned to maybe do a tutorial on how to do something, or have some sort of running theme.

Somewhere, in between fear of failure and a lack of motivation, I never got around to any of it.

Granted, there have been numerous changes in life since the leisurely days in Winnipeg which I naturally took for granted. The good part was that I finally obtained employment, the position I had wanted from the start. The bad this summer was, I lost a best friend, someone who I thought cared about me. I won't get into it, but the whole thing led to its own form of grief which startled me. I found myself thinking logically that I was fine and that I was over it, but emotionally I was a mess. Only I didn't realize it. I'm still not sure how much it's poisoning my psyche even now. More than one person has told me that it takes at least half as long to get over a break-up as the relationship was long.There are other factors to consider that would either shorten and lengthen that time of course.

But if all that has any smear of truth then I'm what...half way to half way?

Its taken a while, but I'm glad to be feeling like my old self again. The motivation is starting to return and I feel more happy. I've even begun looking and planning my potential future after college, something I couldn't bring myself to do for quite sometime. It's unbelievably scary, but exciting. I'm confidant that I'll be able to make a good go of things.

My summer job saw me working at a Provincial park as a Children's Programmer.Meaning, I get to read all day about topics that interest me and then I get to tell kids about it. What's awesome is the hoard if other nature nerds I get to hang out with.

Planning, and working on self-betterment are my two things of focus this month. I'm trying to stay as active as possible, take up a bit of yoga to keep my muscles from getting stiff ( sitting in an office all day is a bitch!), writing in my journal regularly and focusing on self care and well-being. It's way too easy to let the world and on its problems crush you with their weight. I hardly need the world, just dealing with my father's dysfunction and troubles is enough.

Finally bit it and purchased a cast-iron skillet. I've coveted one for ages and at the Home Harware they carried the line from Lodge and I thought, why not it's an investment. I realized after that it's the sort of item meant more for people who stay living in one place and don't shuffle across province for school and such. Will make it work

Sleepy time.

Mother's Day, and interesting find and a Geocaching adventure!

The degree of my laziness and lack of motivation shocks me. To get to any of the tasks on my to-do  list is a monumental task. Here and there have been some notable events.

 We celebrated Mother's Day with a daughter-made breakfast and a visit with Nana, who was able to rouse herself from a doze towards the end of the visit. So we at least got a glimpse of her still lovely eyes.

A Fascinating Find

 On my walk down town one day I stopped off in a small park near our neighbourhood to read my book and enjoy the ever-present sunshine. As I was leaving I saw a van parked on the street at the park's entrance. One guy got out and tossed something onto a bench before getting back into the van and driving away. I was pretty weirded out. Drugs? A bomb? I had to know. Upon investigation, it turned out to be a book inside a plastic bag. To my shock it was a bookcrossing book! I had known about bookcrossing for a couple of years but had never really gotten into it because there wasn't much of a community for it in London, Ontario. Super exciting find! An in to a new hobby!

 A search to the Winnipeg section of bookcrossing showed that there's a particularly avid individual responsible for the release of nearly 2000 books into the "wild" of the city. I will try to read this book and set it free to a new location!

 Everywhere the many lilac bushes are starting to bloom and the smell is almost able to get through to my clogged sinuses. I have been put away in bed with the first and only bad cold of this year. I've found it odd that the only colds I've had in the last two years have been soon after arriving in this city. Stress at the change of scenery? Different stuff in the water? Who knows? Colds suck eggs though. You forget how awful they are until they happen and then it feels like you'll be sniffling and achy for ever!

 Finally planted something in my garden beds. Asparagus and onions. It's anyone's guess if they will actually grow. I'm told the next door neighbours have their lawn sprayed for weeds which may explain the pathetic results of my gardening attempt last year. The compost is looking good though. Heavy rains over Saturday have drowned my lettuce and Parsley flats so I fear nothing will ever come of them. But it was fun to attempt. I just have a death-thumb I suppose

 After 4 years of dutiful service, I was finally ready to say goodbye to my brown Sketchers shoes. They've seen me through two years of highschool, class trips to both Chicago and New York, visits to Winnipeg and nearly a year of Katimavik in Quebec and Labrador. So these things have really gotten around. But when they began to give me foot back and knee pain and ripped on the sides, I knew it was time for them to retire. Into the garbage they may go for their final adventure unless I can find some way to recycle or give them away.

 In an effort to say we accomplished something this long weekend, mum and I spent the day at the Fork's Market and tried out Parks Canada's Geocaching challenge. We learned about the Fur Trade and the uses and history of the Forks, the meeting of the rivers Assiniboine and Red in Winnipeg. We learned a few things and I got to show off my GPS skills learned from college.

 It was really a very beautiful day. Most days in this city are clear and sunny and not too hot. Perfect.

 We enjoyed a unique lunch at the market. Bison stew. For the price, it never fails to fill me up to satisfaction. I wish could have avoided all the plastic waste, but it was darn good stuff. You can't go wrong with stew.

 This weekend was Asian Heritage week and we were able to enjoy some dances while we had our afternoon coffee.

I received an email on Saturday from the NHE leader of Lake Superior Provincial Park, one of the places I was hoping to be employed this summer. They requested an interview with me sometime this week for a position to start on the 28th of May. Which is in a week. I was dually excited and freaked out. A week? Such short notice. And what if I wasn't to hear from the Pinery until perhaps the week after? That was my first choice.  And to leave so soon would mean cutting short my visit to Winnipeg and all the things I had hoped to accomplish while here. I can't help but get ahead of myself, I might not even have the job! But it's something that is sitting heavily on my mind. The upside of that job would be that I would be employed for 12 weeks rather than the 8 I was thinking I would get. More money and more time away from things that are very good at getting my money from me (coffee places and thrift stores). The other upside would be that the contract would finish two weeks before September rather than at the very end of August. That would mean time to visit again with mum, time to get ready for college and time to visit with friends and Sweetbean.... Ah conflict!